Game Of Thrones Season 5 Finale: A Drunken Review

Jon Drunk

I decided to do a review of Game Of Thrones Season 5, episode 10 finale! I had wine, too. Turns out I really needed it.

SHOT GOT2

I was actually going to write a full review from the notes I drafted while watching the episode but then I had a bit more wine.

So, at your pleasure, I have just copy and pasted the notes I wrote and didn’t bother to spellcheck into bullet points here (Sorry, Editor).

Enjoy my wine-fuelled running commentary!

spoilers_got

 

Shot GOT1

  • Ugh, Stannis Baratheon. Someone kill this douchebag.
  • Ha ha! [Nelson Laugh] @ Stannis
  • “It can’t be worse than mutiny.” oh shiiit.
  • … yeah, I bet Stannis is feeling the regret now.
  • Jon Snow is so intense about everything!
  • Poor Jon Snow. Is he always moping?
  • Aww I love Sam. I want to pinch his cheeks. I also like the way he says “library” and “strategy”.
  • SAM, YA DIRTY BASTARD!
  • Oooh what is Sansa doing?
  • SAVE HER, BRIENNE!
  • omg she’s got a candle! she’s going to the tower!!!
  • shit shit TURN BACK BRIENNE! WHAT? NO!
  • oooooh Stannis is fuuuucked.
  • LOL STANNIS LOL
  • Stannis sounds like he’s relieving himself against that tree.
  • Everytime Brienne says who she doesn’t fight for, take a shot.
  • YEAH BRIENNE!!!
  • Grrr Ramsay is such a dick.
  • RUN, SANSA!
  • GO, THEON!!
  • hahahaha bye, girl, BYE!
  • wait. how do they survive the fall?!
  • oh it’s that pedo guy again.
  • WHOA that was some freaky shit!
  • Yesss, Arya, yessss!
  • wtf. @ temple scene
  • ugh calm down, girl. @ Arya
  • WHOA! Is she blind as a punishment from the Many Faced God? Because she stabbed those dudes eyes? An “eye for an eye”? I’m good at reading into things.
  • Wow. That sandsnake girl is fire.
  • HAHA @ Bronn being like “I have the weirdest boner right now.”
  • Awww cute scene with Jaime and Myrcella.
  • OMG.
  • Wow. Ellaria Sand is a hateful bitch.
  • Tyrion is great. Jorah Mormont can STFU.
  • Awww Varys! Ha, great banter, you two.
  • Drogon is like me in the weekends. I get you, Drogon! You just wanna eat and sleep.
  • Where is Chris Pratt? He needs to walk into this scene.
  • DOTHRAKI!!!
  • Wait are they gonna be nice to Khaleesi? Is she still their Khaleesi?!
  • Stop making me not hate you, Cersei.
  • All that nun seems to do is say “Confess.”
  • Whoa naked!
  • Hello, merkin.
  • Now she looks like Sharon Stone. Not bad.
  • oh wow.
  • I was wrong, nun lady can also say “shame”
  • “Shame! Shame! Shame!” etc.
  • I would not be ashamed if I had a rack like hers.
  • Wow, these people are AWFUL!
  • Lady with the bell is enjoying her job a bit too much…
  • I actually feel really sorry for Cersei…
  • This is the worst slut shaming I’ve ever seen. wow
  • I wonder how much she got paid to do this scene?!
  • Cersei :(
  • Wow who’s the big dude?
  • Boooooo why is Melisandre at The Wall?! Lock her out!
  • RUN, JON! RUN!
  • HOLY SHIT
  • OMGGGG
  • JON!!!!!
  • I CAN’T WATCH
  • ….

 

SHOT GOT3

I need more wine.

And a hug. I need a hug.

:(

Jon Snow got

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