Tonight I continue the long, proud Cake Oven tradition of reviewing movies while slightly intoxicated.
Okay so I got to check out a media screening of Pitch Perfect 2. I’m not sure if it has an extended title so I’m just going to make one up. Pitch Perfect 2: The Pitches get Pitched Some Terrible One Liners By Germans.
Not quite got the same ring to it, eh?
So… ………………………
Plot lines: how do I make bullet points
- Fat Amy does a silk dance that ends up with her showing Barack Obama her vagina. Only they never say vagina. They say things like “down under” and stuff, so there’s that. okay I figured out how to do bullet points now.
- The Bellas get told off by racist John Michael Higgins. You’d know his face.
- Peggy Bundy!
- Scary Angry Eyelinered Germans Who Are Quite Funny Sing With Accents And Come to Crush The Bellas.
- Snoop Lion Dogg!
- Some other stuff but that is spoilers.
- SELF-AWARE AMERICAN JOKES!
- Whole lot of product placement that was really just logos shoved up in weird places. I’m talking about you, Pantiene. Pantene. Pantein. No, it defo has an e on the end.
- Totally unnecessary and not even funny extended cameo from the Bay City Packers???
- Surprise cameo from Pentatonix! Wait. That’s a spoiler. Don’t read that.
- Ends.
So maybe I’ll do some photoshoppery now
Here is Fat Amy, coming to steal all the scenes and maybe even Bumper’s heart? She’s stolen my heart anyway and I like her very much. I don’t know why people cried and screamed when she showed her down under. I imagine it’s as awesome as the rest of her. Not that I want to see it. I have no special interest in that kind of thing. And if I didn’t run screaming at Dakota Fanning’s Fanning. Wait, her name wasn’t fanning, was it. It was Johnson.
Wait.
You know what? This movie was pretty vanilla, and not as good as the first one. It all played out exactly how it was supposed to and that’s a bit dull, you know? But the singing is good, Rebel Wilson is good, Anna is good. It was good. Keegan Key was good. The free ice cream I got was good. But I was hungry for more. I wanted to come home and photoshop some funny stuff for you and now it’s like… Nah, here’s a trailer.
Ends.
