‘Sup, droid?
The short recap:
A deaf-mute diplomat has an interesting way of communicating how much he wants to bone Deanna.
The long recap:
Things get off to a really bad start when – shockingly – Riker objects to Picard going on an away mission. You’d think this showed some development of common sense in Starfleet, but (a) it’s a basic pick-up mission and (b) the “big reveal” which happens at the start of every episode, before the fade to credits, is that there’s no one there.
The main problem with this is that there’s frequently no one there to meet away teams.
They’re there to meet Riva, a famed diplomat with a twist: he’s deaf-mute as a result of genetic mutation, and his talking is done by his “chorus”: three people who are so attuned to his thinking they can pick up on everything he wants to communicate. It’s a really nifty sci-fi gimmick, until you realise the three core parts of Riva’s psyche are his “intellect” (the nerd), his “passion” (the walking erection) and the “moderator” (the woman. Of course.)
You only THINK you’re happy using that visor.
Riva of course bonds instantly with Geordi over living with disability – again, a really interesting point. The problem is that Geordi gets to talk about how much he doesn’t mind using the visor … only to have Dr Pulaski immediately offer treatment to re-grow his optic nerve and give him “normal” sight. Geordi, despite his earlier enthusiasm for life as a person-with-disability, says he needs time to consider it. It’s literally never mentioned again – though by First Contact he’s got an upgrade.
Riva also bonds instantly with Deanna, to the extent of his nerd and womanly-translators saying “yep, we ain’t needed for this meeting” when he leaves with her. I kept expecting Riker to explode with alpha-manliness at this, but … nope. Clearly he’s only threatened when Deanna hooks up with shorter, prettier men.
Riva and Deanna have dinner, which goes so well the erection-translator leaves, at which point they commence some fairly stilted sign language. You would’ve thought the fact Deanna is half-telepathic would aid communication, but … nope.
Oh no! My organs!
The Enterprise arrives at Solais V and Riva’s chorus are promptly murdered by a soldier who doesn’t want peace. Riva fairly loses it – he has no way of communicating quickly and fluently, or at least doesn’t until Data teaches himself multiple forms of sign language in a matter of minutes, because android. Again, a situation where having a empath on the crew should be useful, but … nope.
Riva now has a crisis of confidence: he just doesn’t think he can function as a diplomat without his chorus. Deanna reverse-psychologises him into realising he can by threatening to go down to the planet and negotiate herself, which is never going to work since the Solari will only speak to Riva. He decides he can bring them together by teaching them sign language so they can communicate with him, and for some reason none of the Starfleet officers have a problem leaving their prized diplomat on a hostile planet with no means of contacting them if things go pear-shaped. And everyone lives happily ever after!
For all I’ve written above, this episode was plodding. Romantic Deanna scenes are always pretty dire, but in this case there was simply no explanation of why Riva fell hard for her – even though it would’ve been easy enough to explain if only they’d remembered she’s a damned empath!
Such … pointy … lipstick.
Points scored:
- Deanna: 1 for being able to tell Worf is nervous. Worf ain’t subtle.
- Worf: 1 point for his first instinct on learning about sign language being to assess its military value.
Additionally:
- Colm Meaney was everywhere in this episode and I still can’t get over how baby-faced he is.
- Dr Pulaski randomly appears on the bridge after the credits, but doesn’t rate an introduction to Riva, even though Data does. She’s going to be pissed about that.
- Riva asks early on “what’s changed?” to make the Solari want peace after years of war. This is never answered.
- Never to be seen again: the suggestion Geordi get surgery to remove the need for his visor.
- Is it weird that Riva is meant to be this hugely famous diplomat who even Worf’s heard of but no one knows he’s accompanied by three translators?
- Picard thanks Deanna for her work, which is sweet, and terribly unusual.
Look at me, not my translators, dick.
MVP: Howie Seago
For all that I was slightly creeped out by the character of Riva, props to the actor who played him for convincing the writers not to go with a terrible, cliched-even-for-the-80s “and then he gets cured through the magic of science and everything works out okay” ending. I’d give the producers props for thinking to get an actor-with-a-disability to play a-character-with-the-same-disability – something which shows as modern as Glee could really take notes from – except that the whole episode was pretty much Howie Seago’s idea.
And I suppose he’s no more creepy than every other dude who crushes on Deanna.
For more snarky TNG recaps (and the X-Files in haiku) check out Recaps in Hindsight.
